These Tears

These Tears

Its oft said men cry no tears

That like silent cars shift gears

And with the softest thump bears

The greatness of the world on his shoulder bears

Lest the world should at him leer

But these tears I cry?

These tears are for no man

They are not tears of men

They are not tears of pain

These tears are mine

Feel the nacsnt abortion ripped from you

Reel as the words tear each morsel

Keel they spirit as its its crushed afoot

Real people, telling things unreal

Roil in fury at the betrayal of trust

I ask not and I give not

My trust be for me to be

For worse it is to have loved and lost

Than it is to have a love lost

But a job is merely is merely but a job

These tears I cry?

I will never cry them again

Not for her or any woman

Not for it or any job

Not for them any colleagues

And not for Him or any dream.

I am a select first born son

I am a survivor of a gun wound

I have looked poverty in the face and stared her down

Knowing what need is, being needy, hating the neediness and all the while doing the needful

I’m not a weaver of dreams

I’m a catcher of them

Casting out a thin fine mesh

Trapping them, netting them, and

Slowly sorting  them with errorless trance

I will take these tears and dry them into crystals

Like the crystals from the tears of a thousand angels

Out of these crystals I will build a diamond jacket that I will vest around my most tender spot.

I will take these tears and replace my aborted heart

Wash it in  the healing salt of these tears

Make it untearable, for when the war is done,

 The heroes lie on the field while the one-legged coward tell the tale.

Sons and Fathers II: 50 Things Every Father Should Teach His Son:

 

I have been thinking very much lately about fatherhood, companionship and all the other the nuptial spin-offs. I wondered about what kind of Father I would like to be, t what kind of man I would want him to be, what schools, his favorite expressions, his favorite experiences, his preferred colour, hit "type" of girl. 

I thought about whether I should ever teach him how to be a player, or whether my aversion to violence would affect his instinctive drive for speed, gore and  violence, whether when its all said and done he will look at me and say "You did a good job, old man", whether I was just feeding my "God" complex [a term coined by an cougar ex who thought I demanded too much from my women because I always demand they worship me], whether the fact that I couldn't hold down a relationship was triggering a nascent memory and hence this overwhelming return to innocence.

But in the end, it was the thought that even if I am right, even if every woman I ever told I loved was jaded because the Spartakuss will do that to you, even if I was just hallucinating because of a temporary lapse in testosterone, I wanted another son. For vanity, for justice, for the chance to prove that I can get it right, to make the woman who would have chosen me as her mate happy, but most of all, because I am not so vain to think, that this awesomeness that i have belongs to me. After all, all the great and truly breathtaking things I know, I was taught by some "father".

So here is the list of 50 Things I would teach my son in no particular order, starting with the first 25.

1.       How to find and taste a good beer

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2.       How to be respectful to women.

3.       The value in honesty and hard work

4.       Why its important to be passionate about sport

5.       Sampling for good and timeless music

6.       Who was Martin Luther King and who was Barack Obama?

7.       Driving in hell; Kampala,  Uganda

8.       How to ride a bicycle

9.       How to change a flat tyre

10.   How to fix a broken pipe

11.   How to change a blown bulb

12.   How to shake it after  No. 1

13.   Why birds are able to fly and men can’t.

14.   Who was Lance Armstrong, Michael Schumacher and hopefully if he ever asks, Tiger Woods.

15.   Why we pray even though we seem well off.

16.   The value of an honest investment

17.   The bond of a man’s word.

18.    Why Michael Jackson as misunderstood by the world and still thought of as a legend.

19.   Who exactly was Delilah and did Samson really just sleep on her lap?

20.   The reason we vote even though it brings no change

21.   Why women always chase after young men who seem focused on everything not them

22.   That brilliance is not being the first in class but giving it your best.

23.   That loyalty is more important than love or trust.

24.   Why he lets mummy shout at him, sometimes.

25.   Why it is not very wise to shoot the neighbours’ cat and dogs sometimes because karma is a bitch!