Sons and Fathers II: 50 Things Every Father Should Teach His Son.....Part 2

In this second installment of this series I have been doing some thinking about all the elements that go into making a wonderful , well rounded man. Presenting part 2 of the 50 Things every Father should teach his son:

Father and Son

1.       How to taste a good cup of coffee

2.       The importance of being groomed

3.       The value of being quicker to listen than to speak.

4.       Why men should never speak in anger

5.       The power of being comfortable in one’s own company

6.       White people are not superior to you. That are just people.

7.       Why Chinese products are inferior to anything else

8.       The Ten point response to when your wife is angry about hanging out with the boys.

9.       How to say “It wasn’t me” and mean it.

10.   When to never say to a toddler “ you. Who’s your father?”

11.   Why buyng airtime and jewelery is not a good indicator of how successful one is with the ladies.

12.   How to put razor sharp scuts on your garments.

13.   How far public opinion should dissuade a man from what he wants

14.   If the man is R. Kelly and what he wants involves a 14 year old girl…

15.   The value of saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

16.   Why “Sarah Short” is not exactly short

17.   Where do babies come from…

18.   There isn’t a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow

19.   The greatest story ever told is yet to be written…

20.   The people you love also have people they love!

21.   The word pussy didn’t always mean cat but the word booze has been slang for alcohol since the 1100’s

22.   You have to be willing to try everything at least once in your lifetime.

23.   Alex Ndawula doesn’t ever wear a suit to work. No radio presenter ever does.

24.    The reason why the deodorant industry is a billion dollar industry is because it is actually has a purpose.

25.   In the casino, the house always wins.

Bonus advice:

26.   How to find a good car!

Sons and Fathers II: 50 Things Every Father Should Teach His Son:

 

I have been thinking very much lately about fatherhood, companionship and all the other the nuptial spin-offs. I wondered about what kind of Father I would like to be, t what kind of man I would want him to be, what schools, his favorite expressions, his favorite experiences, his preferred colour, hit "type" of girl. 

I thought about whether I should ever teach him how to be a player, or whether my aversion to violence would affect his instinctive drive for speed, gore and  violence, whether when its all said and done he will look at me and say "You did a good job, old man", whether I was just feeding my "God" complex [a term coined by an cougar ex who thought I demanded too much from my women because I always demand they worship me], whether the fact that I couldn't hold down a relationship was triggering a nascent memory and hence this overwhelming return to innocence.

But in the end, it was the thought that even if I am right, even if every woman I ever told I loved was jaded because the Spartakuss will do that to you, even if I was just hallucinating because of a temporary lapse in testosterone, I wanted another son. For vanity, for justice, for the chance to prove that I can get it right, to make the woman who would have chosen me as her mate happy, but most of all, because I am not so vain to think, that this awesomeness that i have belongs to me. After all, all the great and truly breathtaking things I know, I was taught by some "father".

So here is the list of 50 Things I would teach my son in no particular order, starting with the first 25.

1.       How to find and taste a good beer

Image via Wikipedia

2.       How to be respectful to women.

3.       The value in honesty and hard work

4.       Why its important to be passionate about sport

5.       Sampling for good and timeless music

6.       Who was Martin Luther King and who was Barack Obama?

7.       Driving in hell; Kampala,  Uganda

8.       How to ride a bicycle

9.       How to change a flat tyre

10.   How to fix a broken pipe

11.   How to change a blown bulb

12.   How to shake it after  No. 1

13.   Why birds are able to fly and men can’t.

14.   Who was Lance Armstrong, Michael Schumacher and hopefully if he ever asks, Tiger Woods.

15.   Why we pray even though we seem well off.

16.   The value of an honest investment

17.   The bond of a man’s word.

18.    Why Michael Jackson as misunderstood by the world and still thought of as a legend.

19.   Who exactly was Delilah and did Samson really just sleep on her lap?

20.   The reason we vote even though it brings no change

21.   Why women always chase after young men who seem focused on everything not them

22.   That brilliance is not being the first in class but giving it your best.

23.   That loyalty is more important than love or trust.

24.   Why he lets mummy shout at him, sometimes.

25.   Why it is not very wise to shoot the neighbours’ cat and dogs sometimes because karma is a bitch!