Saturday, November 15, 2008

Falling To Rise:

Misery has a name:
Misery has a face:
Misery has an address:
Misery has a dildo.

If in the widening gyre the falconer loses his falcon
Then in our spirited mirthfulness we have lost all mirth
Into the depths of hell we plunge; to be reborn
Entering the sun, ubiquitous, standing alone

The life of every man,once paid, has a price
That without vice or malice he live free

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"

Said a people to a tyrant king in '76.
On a warm July Philadelphia day.

The best of us is to come, unrelenting and debauched.
Rising like a phoenix out of its ashes to a new life
Unabetted. Unforgiving. Inconsolable.
So, for now we slumber, grizzly like-
But awake like the voracious Pterodactyl of old, to consume and live again!

Monday, November 10, 2008


You are flying the flexing delta airline or BA or KLM or anyone of the thousands of airlines that line the skies. On any one choice of these carriers, when you fly long distance you get enough miles.

Yes, right, You get miles. Some business people use their miles to take them on holiday. You could, for example gather enough miles to take you on vacation to China and back by flying to the US and Europe for a couple of times. I considered this thought as I walked from my work place recently all the way home.

Call it financial illiteracy; call it poor planning, or plainly a profligate spirit. I have had to walk to work and back these past few days.

It started one day when I had not enough transport and so I said I will take a taxi to the park and then walk from there to work. It turned out to be a 20 minute walk from the taxi park to work.

Fair enough my dull, sweat-inebriated brain told me.

And so the next day on discovering that I didn’t have enough money either, I decided I would walk from the park to home. So I took the taxi to the park and thence began the trek home. By the time I got home, every bone ached and my arse hurt from the overuse of my Gluteus muscle.

Now as I look back, from the 20th of last month to date I have walked approximately 5-10 kilometers a day. It’s been tough and grueling. But most of all it’s been insightful.

I understand that people around the world walk that distance daily to get water for the survival of their families, but I also understand that had I planned properly I should never have had to be in such a rut! And honestly most of those people have no choice really; they either walk it or have their families drinking piss, which is just plain tacky!

But I digress

I look back at that month and think of all the things that changed in my life that I had thought were constant and unchangeable.


Whenever you are in a taxi and you see a roadside preacher you stare at them as they yell and chastise passersby as though they were otherworldly. In my experience as a pedestrian, as you walk on by, don’t look this man in the face or look at any passing traffic. Why? Coz someone might know you or recognize you, and as a rule of the trade [street walking] you never answer someone calling you from the comfort of their car. If they can’t stop the damn thing, they can sod off!!! So you walk with your eyes hugging the pavement, never letting go. On the other side of the car window, it’s very cold; I assure all of you who have the comfort of looking at pedestrians.

The preacher looks you in the eye, and in earnest, makes his call for you to repent. You feel like slapping the fella. But honestly you are not sure if you slap him whether you will have enough energy left to get home. You abort the slap. And walk thinking, furiously away.

Thinking furiously and translating into madness

Mad people generally talk to themselves or people who talk to themselves are generally mad. Whatever works. Wanna know the Truth? They are not mad, they are recounting and swearing on graves, salaries, monies and debts that they will never go through this again. Next time they have some money they will save and plan. Never. Never again.

I found it’s the novices who swear and since they do this as they walk they end up talking to themselves. Its like self induced Schizophrenia. They make full facial movements and gesticulations. The real walkers walk on silently saying nothing. They have acquired the neutered look on their faces. They know that talking doesn’t save you energy and they too talked to themselves when they first started walking, but they stopped because even when they got the money they are still walking today.


The more you walk certain routes the less you look like a stranger. The beggars on that route know you and silently nod when you pass by. They know you have hit hard times. When you are new the beggars will bother you. After a few days, you blend in. They know it. They accept you, make way when you briskly walk past and never have their little watottos cram you begging for money. You understand what they are about and they get you. This, my dearest reader is the point of no return, if you were a missionary sent to tame the savagery of the streets this is what is called 'going native' When you switch sides in sympathy for the other side, you have gone native. Acceptance is a crucial stage. Its where you start to long for your lonely times on the road where you think alone, plan alone, talk alone… am going crazy!

The Miles!

Beyond acceptance come the miles. When you walk so long that you start to accumulate frequent footer miles. Building up on a daily basis, your body takes a certain shape, the thought of dust clogged nostrils doesn’t bother or nauseate you and your understanding of the Kampala landscape is so highly advanced.

The downside of the miles however is that you become and think almost like a true villager. You top valuing time and you never see the sense in spending any money to go anywhere. If you can walk there you do it day in day out. Triggering the vicious cycle of poverty because no one can trust you to be on time, or get things done because you cant get a taxi and be some where in time for any function.

And as I look at myself in the mirror after I get home and take off my shirt I begin to think of all the things I could have become. And no, pedestrian was not one of them. I had so much promise, so hope, so much to live for and that I ended up walking on the streets to work, in this prestige-sensitive city is proof of how far anyone can fall.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Face Book

I recently found my self in a rut with face book and their threaded messages. And after weeks of torment that i endured silently alone, one guy wrote a plea about how much he hated being on the thread. and as i sat down, and thought. It came to me how many ways one can stop the terror of face book threads. Afterall who wants 45 messages in 8 working hours!!!? This is what I wrote- Verbatim:

"Ivan you are a man after my own heart. I have suffered silently under the torment of this thread for weeks until finally I deciphered a clever guise to get me out of it.

You know when they send you an email from face book, at the bottom it says if you don't want to receive emails from face book click this link, you click it next time you get one of those. and when you go back to your face book settings, you go to the part where it says "face book notifies me" and you change that setting to "no". the only time you know when you have mail is when you open your face book. sweet!

Option 2: Block these people, but you must first block all messages from these people first. Individually. you click their name, pull up their profile and then below their name click "ignore all messages from this person." They will never see you on face book again and you will never see them again. EVER!

Option 3: Report all these users to face book and claim they are violating your rights. It works, trust me.

Option 4: If that doesn't work, be really abusive and start putting links of porn and really abusive messages in the thread, send it with viruses, tell really crude jokes, be insensitive about lesbians and women, don't care what others think, say savedees are hypocrites, and start telling stories about how virgins are secretly horny nymphos. And I assure you for everyone's, safety the thread will either stop or you will just get kicked out.

Option 5; If all the above continues to fail to work, i advise you do this but only if you are at the point where your friendship with these people is at an end. Start giving and telling personal information like people's addresses, boyfriends, sugar daddies, girlfriends, concubines, one night stands, parents, and anything that will wreck their lives to the high heavens. Lie if you have to. Just pull up all the shit on all these people. so much that they will have no choice than to either let you go, or let the thread go.

Option 6: my very last piece of advice is to discard your old facebook account get a new one and make sure the settings are such that no one ever writes to you, can see you or even find you unless they are your friends. AND. NEVER invite anyone to be your face book friend unless you can stake a finger on the fact that they are not psychotic.

Lock and load."

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Two Secret Agents:

And as they walk towards each other; each can almost anticipate how this conversation is going to go. Simple. Keep it level headed. After all we are both on foreign turf in New York.


Name: YKM Age: unclear
Codename:M7 Marital status: Cohabiting

Special skills: lying, graft, guerilla talk and warfare

Weaknesses: Democracy & Civil freedoms

Killer Move: CMI disappearing fatality! ['nnuf said]

Service period: First showed interest in 1980 but was DE [wait for it ...] NIED! and so facts place character at 1986 with 27 guns.

Expected further delivery: As resilient as the Kalashnikov, we put it at another360 months.

Name: RM Age: Octogenarian [we think he is older]
Codename:MGB3 Marital status: Cohabiting with his neighbour's wife

Special skills: Xenophobia, British-bashing, power hunger .

Weaknesses: Democracy & Civil freedoms. The Opposition

Finishing Stroke: One hand super grip. (ask the presidency,wont bloody let it go!)

Service period: Unlike agent above recruited to service in 1980. Has religiously thwarted all attempts to recruit younger more versatile agents [read Morgan]; to the extent of violence, even death!

Expected further delivery: Like a rusted Chinese broadsword, not expected to survive in the age of the samurai Katana. So about 200 months.

Said agents were taking a stroll and sat down to talk. surveillance was able to obtain this photo with advanced transcribing, was also able to subtitle the conversation.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Banning Mini - skirts

The most annoying article I have seen in many months. This is more annoying than CB, in fact even a more annoying than the battle with SAGE. But he got it first, take it home slugger

Miniskirt Row Rocks Uganda

by Kent Mensah, AfricaNews Editor in Accra, Ghana

Heated debate erupted in the Eastern African country of Uganda as to whether women should be banned from wearing tight miniskirts in public or otherwise. The country's ethics and integrity minister is spearheading the call because women wearing them distract drivers and cause traffic accidents.

Minister Nsaba Buturo told journalists in the capital Kampala that wearing a miniskirt was like walking naked in the streets, according to a BBC report.

“What's wrong with a miniskirt? You can cause an accident because some of our people are weak mentally. Wearing a miniskirt should be regarded as indecent, which would be punishable under Ugandan law,” he added.

“If you find a naked person you begin to concentrate on the make-up of that person and yet you are driving. These days you hardly know who is a mother from a daughter, they are all naked."

Earlier this year, Kampala's Makerere University decided to impose a dress code for women at the institution. AfricaNews monitored Network Africa on BBC on Thursday morning and most Uganda women opposed the minister’s assertions.

“I wear miniskirts a lot. I am not comfortable in long skirts because I have nice legs. The only thing that makes me comfortable is a miniskirt. I don’t support it (ban), where are we going to put them because we have bought them and those selling it have paid taxes on them too,” young Sylvia stated.

The s
ituation was not different in Ghana when AfricaNews interacted with some young university students for their views on the Uganda issue.

“That’s funny and strange. We are in a civilized world and people’s view and way of dressing should be respected. I think the men should respect themselves enough to control their eyes and feelings. I don’t dress to kill but dress to look good,” Jemima Boateng stated.

But others had more sympathy with minister Buturo. "I think skimpy things are not good. We are keeping the dignity of Africa as ladies and we have to cover ourselves up," one woman, called Sharon, told the BBC.

Screw this shit! We want to see nice legs

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Death. Death. Death.

Am seated next to this beautiful lady. Nina. Slowly, pensively eats her food as she notes down thoughts in a beaten, spent Tower notebook. Intermittently, she looks out the window, and writes. Penning dexterously. Like a seasoned professional. A Spartan warrior. A samurai with a Katana.

I think about my life; the moments, and the monuments. Outside the wind whistles and a slightly overcast sky seems to frown. Miniature palm trees outside dance with glee. It is after all, about to rain. Rain falls.

Rain waters us.

Rain cleanses us.

Rain heals us.

Rain gives life.

But the trees know they will still die. Someday soon, they will die. And we must die.


If we do not die, we don’t allow others to live. If we don’t die we don’t learn the lessons of this lifetime. If we don’t die we forget how to miss people. If we don’t die, we selfishly keep tons of inspiration because after all, people are inspired by your death - not your life.

Dying gives us urgency - the fierce urgency of now!

Dying gives us purpose. ..

Dying gives resolution. Enables resolve. Emboldens the spirit. Clears the mind

And purges our hearts.

In the purity of death, there is no shadow; In its grip no release,

And yet in its release, a gripping peace; and in its shadow still, a deathly purity.

We will live a thousand lives if we have to. We will build this earth and tear it down many times. Because everything that is, has been and will be again. There is nothing new. So wrote the hand.

So yes, let’s hurtle through life, let’s not breathe every moment, because if we don’t get it right in this one, we’ll get it in the next life. For death is merely a door, to bring us to a higher sense of ourselves.

The upgrade.

Teaching those left behind to live on the precipice of life. And those going to carry their to-do list for the next time they come around.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

3G: The Next Level:

Yeah the next level is here!

who needs a bra when you can get a guy to hold them for you?

Joke's on you!

and what about a black man?!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Black Monday

In life you are only allowed to make so many mistakes. Why? Coz life is not a free lunch and you are bound to have your transgressions catch up with your sins.
And when they do, you have a well deserved lashing, CB. It would not have hurt to read up a little more on the people who are in the Ugandan blogsphere. The tales of happy moments, and fears of genocide, and our inextricably tied fates as Kampalans to die of boda-boda accidents. This is the stuff of legend. All the stories the monitor does not write, or any other paper for that matter. Because those who run the papers are so cheap and uptight that they won’t include our opinions. But then again, how are you going to include anything more than rhetoric in a 28 page tabloid style paper?!

Hard Times

I am aware that striking the balance must have been hard for the C-Boyi, and sometimes the ‘intarekcho’ talk will be hard to deal with; but a slap to the UBHH was below the belt. The idea behind the UBHH [see the list] when josh and jackfruity first called for it, was for Ugandan bloggers to get together and talk, about things banal because they said everything ‘intarekcho’ on their blogs. Ask the 27th, he was there, ask Jackfruity or Carlo (even though we spent the evening talking about her sister) or Aivan or Darlene. There must be justice...

Out of the despair a plan is hatched…

We have come from too far, to allow the prevarications and prejudices of an insider gone rogue to bring down the house. Hence my plan. We will hatch a plan and get the one person he cant kill write about and make them hunt him. We will need an Angelina Jolie played by the dashing Cheri, [for lack of anyone with longer legs, does that qualify as sexist?] and Morgan Freeman will be played by old man Baz! Aivan can play the cheating friend and the bitchy ex-girlfriend can be played by…*rubbing chin while looking into the distance saying "I wonder who to cast for this role...Cheri is already in here,aha haa! Carlo, that one of the mysterious stranger!!* Dennis Matanda and Princess will play our criminal analysts and 27th can play the “son” blogger he could never shoot.

Did this guy need some action in his life? Why did we ever allow him into the blogger community? We should have stopped him and banned him at this first sign of trouble.We will give it to him only that in the end of this one everyone else lives and the annoying impudent tweet dies. I, the Spartan will guarantee this with my 9 lives.…

Now he is “Wanted”. Over to you D.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Heroes and She-roes

“You have people who are exceptions,” said Stephen Francis, the coach of Bolt’s main Jamaican rival, Asafa Powell, the former 100 world-record holder. “You have Einstein. You have Isaac Newton. You have Beethoven. You have Usain Bolt. It’s not explainable how and what they do.”

… And when I checked into Cheri’s after a while, I figured there was something about the place that had changed and then I saw it. It was this huge poster of “The Bolt” in triumph!!
This morning as I rode to work, the guy who was commentating in Luganda, I don’t even know why I even listen, but yes, he said that Usain Bolt had dashed to glory to set a new world record for 100 metre dash and in one summer had also broken the 200 meter record.

Sitting there. Thinking. I remembered. And then he added something that told me he wasn’t too bright; a characteristic of most of Uganda’s radio presenters… anyway he said,
“ bwe yamaze okuwangula naziina endongo! Yakubye endongo ne ye kyanga!” [When he won he danced, so much! He danced and pranced all over the place.]
Now if a Russian had set a new world record and had cruised to a double Olympic victory and had done the kozak dance we’d all be like “ooh! How cute” but that fool had to go and spoil the moment.
It reminded me of a story my father told years ago about when a South African official in the era of apartheid went to England and in an interview on the BBC about why the whites were oppressing the blacks in south Africa, why they were making them miserable, raping their women, tear gassing them, segregating who they gave jobs, and so on…etcetera

WG *looks at the interviewer*: “you say we make them unhappy?”
Interviewer: “yes”
WG: *looks at TV screen across the room and sees a Zulu cultural troupe dancing and singing and looks back at interviewer with a puzzled look* “… but the fellows are always dancing and merry making. They cannot be unhappy!”

Anyway tangentially…

As I am in that taxi, my eyes start to water [yeah am a sentimental bastard. I cry at anything that strikes me the right way] I am thinking of all the black men and women in history who have stood for something. Every single one my small brain cluster can care to remember: Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, William Wilberforce, Sirleaf Ellen Johnson, Oliver Thambo, Dedan Kimathi, Patrice Lumumba, Kwame, Gamal Abdel Nasser, Ngugi wa Thiong’o, Chinua, Milton, Wangare Mathaai, and dear old Nelson.
And then I thought about the sporting heroes and heroines who risk life and limb in the best years of their youth on the track; on the line; on the edge, for glory of country and home; people who had written the name of Africa indelibly in the hearts of the world, and set it in stone in the sands of time;
Mohammed Ali,
Haille Gebraselassie,
Michael Johnson,
Marion Jones,
Michael Jordan,
Chester Williams,
Moses Kiptanui,
Francis Nyangweso,
John Akii Bua,
Maria Muthola and [ am next to weeping as I write this]…
Dorcus Inzikuru.

Each of these in their won way provided a light; they held up a lamp when times were dim. They blazed a trail for generations to come. They should always be remembered, maybe not for all they were but for the period that they were.
They might not have been not the heroes we deserved but they were the heroes we needed. In the dark night when we despaired, there was someone holding a candle; bearing the torch, and people from all walks of life saw the light and did not give up.
And because we believed, South Africa was freed. Because we believed, Liberia will recover. Because we believed, the civil rights movement triumphed. Because we believed, THE SPRING BOKS RULE!!
How does “The Bolt” fit into all this? You ask me?!?


Go to hell!

................................................................Because I Believe

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Thoughts in a Hospital Waiting Area...

In this life, we are not perfect and quite frankly neither are our bodies. It is true that I believe myself a god.


Not heresy. Just a god.


Because I am.

I am made in the image of Him who walked through the universe flinging the stars against the sky; spinning the sun on his finger into its orbit; summoning- like a king summons subjects, the plants and the millions of species to sprout of the earth; wild and free!

But the one quintessential element this Walker (lets call him Johnnie shall we?) forgot to give me was spare parts … you know like the Ferrari, or like the Toyota? How are you going to give me a mind that the universe has never had the chance to witness, the body of a man and then not give me spare parts? Indictment No. 1

These thoughts are scampering through my mind as I queue up in one of Uganda’s Healthcare Mis-Delivery System’s outlets [read hospital].

Frankly am tired of typing in Braille so am getting me a some software for my eyes, kinda like increased RAM for a computer… I am typing this post in the hospital with the slight murmur of patients!

So here is my problem. Ugandans are perpetually late for everything in life:

They stay longer in the womb; they are late when they go to school so they finish Senior Four when they are 19/20,much older than nearly anywhere else the world; they are late for wedding meetings and even later for the wedding itself; they are late to collect money from the bank and occasionally end up borrowing from a friend [call him John too] and then they have to pay him with interest (if they ever pay him). They pay him late and because he has no transport he cant come early to the wedding meeting… (whose wedding meeting?) Pick any one of the two million in Kampala and you’ll still be right. There’s always a John and a Richard in every wedding organizing committee!

Am done with my parents' threats mbu "if you don't attend your friends' wedding meetings, no one will attend yours"... Indictment No. 2

and now we interrupt normal programming to bring a special Leonidas moment:

Colinidas: Kampalans!!! What is your profession?!!

Kampalans: [in unison] Party crashing !Party crashing! Party crashing!!!

and now back to normal viewing...

But I digress. Ugandans are late for everything except here... Where people got up before Six O’clock in the morning to come here and queue up. I am here at 7:30 am and there are 40 people in the waiting area, which is sorted between priority customers and normal clients.

Yeah priority customers. Like esteem, executive or pinnacle banking! I wont pay priority whatever it is called. It will be a cold day in hell if I ever pay to receive a good service in a Ugandan government facility!

8:17am: There are close to 100 people in the room and counting! It worries me that all these people cant see and have hence all come to have their eyes checked. Good sign. I scan the room and I note particularly there are no boda drivers present or taxi drivers. Wait, unless they are disguised like sexagenarian [60year-olds] women in long shawls and pre- pubescent kids in the company of their mothers. My worry is valid.

As I worry a thought comes to mind, maybe we should toa order for all boda riders and taxi drivers to get mandatory eye check ups and secretly bribe all the opticians to slam glasses on them! Kinda like what one health minister suggested about circumcision? Yeah you heard me right. The bloody guy suggested that the government, which was struggling already under the abscondment of the GAVI funds should roll out [and hear this] a Mass Male Circumcision Plan [MMCP}!

I think someone should just roll out a massive beating to that idiot...

Over. and. out.

Inspiration is such a hard thing to come by in these days that when i landed on something interesting here i took it.

By the gallons i drunk it in and so that when i i looked up and figured that at the end of my life, i would be ready to pass on to the sphere of darkness at some point soon. so i have the option to either accelerate and complete the list or just be content. think i'll try and complete the list. The ones i have done are in red.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone [ do brothers count?]

08. Said “I love you” and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Bungee jumped

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise [Guy and Ray, you get first thought on this one!]

14. Seen the Northern Lights/Aurora Borealis

15. Gone to a huge sports game

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables [at this point i feel like this is some sort of poverty index]

18. Touched an iceberg

19. Slept under the stars

20. Changed a baby’s diaper

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne

24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25.Looked up at the sky through a telescope

26.Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment. [Lanterns !! what is your profession?!]

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30.Had a snowball fight.

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can [Family. Friends. Testify]

32. Held a lamb

34. Ridden a roller coaster [ Nairobi roller coaster too slow!]

35. Hit a home run

36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking [ i hope my ground zero buddies do not read blogs]

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day (try a lifetime! and if you think am a fake why we dont all listen to Ivan M.)

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment [God knows i love post coital conversations!!]

39. Had two hard drives for your computer

40. Visited all 50 states of the US

41. Taken care of someone who was drunk - and it was in the middle of a bush school too! i must get extra points.

42. Had amazing friends [The most amazing!

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country [Arusha, you will always be in my mind!]

44. Watched wild whales

45. Stolen a sign

46. Backpacked in Europe

47. Taken a road-trip

48. Gone rock climbing

49. Midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Ireland

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love [have no idea what this accomplishment is actually supposed to be. is it even positive?]

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them [every evening at Javas]

54. Visited Japan

55. Milked a cow - and then some!!

56. Alphabetized your CDs

57. Pretended to be a superhero - The old batman

58. Sung karaoke -And got laughed by my best friend; never forgave him too!

59. Lounged around in bed all day - Dont ever kiss and tell.

60. Played touch footbal(American football); or rugby

61. Gone scuba diving

62. Kissed in the rain- must do soon. in search of woman who does not mind hair getting wet!

63. Played in the mud

64. Played in the rain

65. Gone to a drive-in theater

66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business - first two days of college selling Keringet mineral water

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

69. Toured ancient sites

70. Taken a martial arts class

71. Played a video game for more than 6 hours straight

72. Gotten married

73. Been in a movie- does a series count?

74. Crashed a party

75. Gotten divorced

76. Gone without food for 5 days 4 1/2 days

77. Made cookies from scratch

78. Won first prize in a costume contest

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice

80. Gotten a tattoo

81. Rafted the Snake River

82. Been on television news programs as an “expert” or just been on t.v

83. Got flowers for no reason

84. Performed on stage:singing,acting,dancing etc- Lanterns!!! what is your profession?!

85. Been to Las Vegas

86. Recorded music

87. Eaten shark

88. Kissed on the first date

89. Gone to Thailand

90. Bought a house

91. Been in a combat zone

92. Buried one/both of your parents

93. Been on a cruise ship

94. Spoken more than one language fluently

95. Performed in Rocky Horror

96. Raised children

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking

103. Had plastic surgery

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived - where do we start?

105. Wrote articles for a large publication or any publication at all - are reading this by braille?

106. Lost over 100 pounds

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback

108. Piloted an airplane

109. Touched a stingray/manta ray

110. Broken someone’s heart

111. Helped an animal give birth

112. Won money on a T.V. game show

113. Broken a bone in your body

114. Gone on an African photo safari

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

118. Ridden a horse

119. Had major surgery

120. Had a snake as a pet

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon (well at least more than half-way)

122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states

124. Visited all 7 continents

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi

128. Had your picture in the newspaper

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about- how many times?

130. Gone back to school

131. Parasailed

132. Touched a cockroach.

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes

134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey - can I get a witness?

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating—Goat, cow, chicken

137. Skipped all your school reunions

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office

140. Written your own computer language

141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

143. Built your own PC from parts

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

145. Had a booth at a street fair

146. Dyed your hair

147. Been a DJ

148. Shaved your head- all the way down to the eye brows!

149. Caused a car accident

150. Saved someone’s life

151.Ridden a bicycle

152.Visited any of the National Parks in Uganda or any where else.

153.Touched a snake

154.Climbed a jackfruit tree,mango tree or any fruit tree to get some fruit

155.Stolen something from someone’s garden

156.Eaten so much that breathing became difficult,laboured- Seeta Boarding old boys and Old girls say oyeee!!

157.Had sex on the first date

158.Helped a total stranger

159.Been caught in a compromising position,e.g pants down

160.Played dool/dulu

Thanks Josh!

Monday, August 18, 2008

A Poetry Recital

In a packed room lit with candles and dimmed lights, the Lantern Society of Poets in their inaugural recital put on a show to remember.

The Lantern Meet which has been meeting for over a year meets fortnightly at the National Theatre To share poetry, talk and critique young poets’ work was conceived over three years ago by four students who shared a passion for poetry. Guy Mambo, Oj Raymond, Aki Brenda and yours truly. With a view to raising the bar. What bar? Well… the social bar, the literary bar, the intellectual bar… all the bars you can think of!!!

But, hush performance in progress…

Next on stage is a poem called the musician performed by Rachael, she walks down the stairs and the orange glow of the stage light flows on her body. Her voice undulates over the room, the clarity of her voice carrying the poem across the room. It is like a smooth melody, floating on a cushion of wafty notes produced by the guitarist plucking obliviously away at his guitar. The audience in the back of the room stops talking for an absolute moment. Captured. Riveted. Transposed almost. In one puissant moment, as she takes her final bow, the room explodes into applaud…

The Lantern Meet of Poets has put together an ensemble of poems from almost all walks of life, drawing deeply on human nature and the way our own humanity relates to the circumstances around us. To the intricate tapestry in which is interwoven every man’s fortune and fate. From sorrow to exhilaration, to love and loss the poems flow, exciting, scintillating. Some drawing tears from the audience, others creating a long lingering laughter.

At the end of the show, as the Lanterns bow for recognition, and they promise another exciting show over the Christmas holiday, it reminds me of that old adage ”the best things are free.” By drawing on the talents of scholars from a myriad of disciplines the lanterns have shown the true color of intellect: colorless.

The Lantern Meet is headed by Guy Mambo and the poetry recital was directed by Samantha Kachwinya.

*Disclaimer: for the more objective view of the recital I recommend you read more objective [read less informed] views but more balanced nonetheless.