Monday, November 21, 2011

Move Over Apple: Sony now moves into commodities

"Money has no sex...we are all in bed with it. A few with more *somes than others." Davis Musinguzi [Twitter: @Davisthedoc]

The man posted it in his "za twita" and I almost #died. Anyways, more on that later. But one can see the essence. We are all in bed with money, and some people have twosomes, others threesomes, others foursomes. Golola Moses just lets them hang on it, swing, and sing "siporingi". It didn't make sense when he said it at the time, but with all this load shedding and the global economy almost becoming as reliable as an old man's erection (which reminds me of a sweet joke Okonkwo's youngest wife makes about his guns that don't shoot in Things Fall Apart, prompting him to take out his rifle old and shoot), it follows that companies will look to expand production and diversify revenue streams.

When Sleek said here, that the one thing in Uganda that was all the rage was NRM sugar I thought he was joking. But when I learnt that M-7 traveled to Israel and was meeting with Israel top leadership not to discuss arms but economic support I had a change of heart. I knew my man Sleek was onto something. I assumed Rutanyarahansi had taken his long-waged threat to its ultimate conclusion: He had decided to export a finished product from Uganda. No its not a joke, the electricity we send to Kenya and Rwanda is not complete - it lacks load-shedding [for finished product ask Ugandans]

Anyway, I was quite proud of the man. But I was soon to discover that we had been played. You see when Sevo met with the Israelis, there was a Mossad ex-chief there who attended the meetings. I suspect this man took Sevo's finished product which was most delicately prepared at the high altar of Ugandan agriculture; our country's collective farm (dear old Rwakitura (which has a wiki page BTW)) and sold us out to the damn Japanese. Whilst I suspected this, I had never expected for them to hit us with such force so soon. Which leads me to conclude they outsourced to the China.So imagine my shock when I came face to face with this horror:

I mean, I know Apple decided to go into Lions, Leopards and the rest of the Feline Family, the New Vision moved from a crappy website to an even crappier website, MTN Mobile Money became like a campus chic whose phone number is never on after you buy her chips and chicken twice, Umeme... &*$#@%%^&*(&I^$^#$^**!#@#@.(That's wing dings, so no one gets arrested). I get it we are all trying to make a buck, but really?!!
OK, wait for our retaliation.

Have a nice day!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Urban Legend Party and Bad Black's Dollars

For those of you who weren't there at the ULK celebrating one year party a lot of things went down.

Well for starters me and the Good Doctor walked down there after judging the 3rd Annual National Inter-University Female Public Speaking Contest. A mouthful you think? Well, I wish the contestants had a mouthful to say. They didn't, which made the task a chore in tedium. But which had its redeeming moments of laughter, conviction, and eloquence. We had been tasked to deliver 20 out 87 students appearing from 17 universities across the country. Last year's winner was from MUBS (I don't know why they don't just build annex dormitories down there already). Makerere oyeee!!! But I digress.

So we got there and they had this beautiful TV slideshow rolling at the chic Boda Boda restaurant. They had cordoned it off for the VIPs and so we just stood in the "kirasha": the place where the general happiness crowd hangs out. And we stood there waiting for it to begin. And we stood. Polite smiles to old enemies. Annnnnddddd we stood. At some point in the evening, we were joined by more amenable company, a lady who is making her first appearance on this blog and will hopefully be making many others in the course of this blog (OK Carol, now you have appeared on the Spartan's blog). The evening lit up as friends started to show up and also make polite gestures. I had to wonder whether they too were making polite smiles at old enemies. But I learned a long time ago never to live without enemies, makes you soft. Ask Bad Black or Gilbo Mahogs.

The party began and the emcees took it away; I don't know who the male emcee was (and frankly I'm fresh out of rats, so...) but the female emcee, Marie just rocked the daylights off the party. It was really good. I can still visualize Streetsider trying to take on IamEnyma in Runya-flow; and almost conking out like a badly-serviced P.S.V. It was hilarious. As we stood around chatting, talking, and sharing the delight of being among good company came to me. It fell on me like the morning dew that always fell on my face in secondary school on Monday mornings because that was when I always read the news for the whole school. I had to be at school early. That's why the dew always fell on my face as I walked in.

But my absolute favourite part of that night was when the legends started making it rain on us with Black dollars. OK, the money was black on one side, But the front had Bad Black. The one and only Shanifa Nalukenge. 
One Black Dollar from Bad Bank
Yes, that was the highlight of my evening. I am easy to amuse and that's proobably because there things about me that are impossible to change. Its the ying and yang that balances me out. Those of you who don't know Bad Black and all the acrimony she has caused read her life story here

I eventually walked home that night when my ride was unceremoniously hijacked by a wily and sharp witted damsel. I'm quite sure he had his reasons. And besides, who needed a ride anyway? Right?

So Thank you ULK for a glamorous party. Incidentally, I noticed while taking a long stroll with a fellow writer friend of mine recently that of the 5 legends, 4 went to the same school. hhmm... But my theories on that later.

Till next time.

Friday, November 18, 2011



[grat-i-tood, -tyood]

the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful: He expressed his gratitude to everyone on the staff.
1400–50; late Middle English  < Medieval Latin grātitūdin-  (stem of grātitūdō ) thankfulness, equivalent to grāt ( us ) pleasing + -i- -i-  + -tūdin- -tude
And just like sand through the hourglass, so are the days or our lives. I remember when i first heard those words. There were very foreign to me, I found them quite touching. Till I found out there were taken from "Days of our Lives". Apparently a great show as well.

Its coming to the close of the year and I have so much to be thankful for. Its been a year of discovery, testing boundaries, exploring, recovering, and motion. And when it was all done, just do it all over again. I've had my moments this year, good moments of almost sheer brilliance and the not so clever - no wait, moments of just being dumb. 

But I want to talk a little bit about gratitude. Just a little. I quit my job a while ago to do start consulting. As a result, I spend a lot more time at home. Part of that time is designated as cooking time. I love to cook. It brings a darkness inside me to the fore. I guess that's why i love food: because its sweet and keeps my mouth shut from saying things that I will regret.

Never before in my life have I had the experience the last few months have given me. Spending time to look up a nice recipe, takign the time to go through it and then preparing mentally to execute. The feeling was like an Ad Campaign on juice! And tehn cooking it. But I have found that no matter how good a chef you ae, its a long time u til you strat to understand what it takes to eat and ppreciate your own food. 

its not like just about your locus of identity being external, its also linked to being able to say, no one has to see how good my cooking is. I just know its good. So it is. And that right there comes from a long way off. It came from a place of accepting taht I can't draw and well the other things my hands are good at would not fit in the spirit of this post. (adult material just)

Anyway, this is a thank you note, because as I was going through Twitter i realised that the 5th trending topic was #WomenWhoDontCook.  iIts quite easy to ignore  but as i thought about it and all the things that were being said, i realized, that I never cared about women who couldn't cook until I met a woman who could (No, you bastard, it wasn't my mom.)

Its not big till you realize not a single girl who you have gone out with this year has stood in your kitchen and cooked or made something to eat. Was i wrong? Was i capturing it out of context? Had I created a slanted view by discounting the fact they all almost came at night and left 24 hours after that?
I have nothing against women who cant cook as i am sure they have nothing against men who give them orgasms because still they stay, and so will I. I just think they have missed an opportunity to strike at the heart of something special. But I also know that they then hold no allure for me. Nothing. 

So thank you for teaching me how to appreciate the value of the time that goes into making a meal for a loved one, or anyone really. I always could cook, i just never had seen as a form of self expression. Thank you for the patience. And thank you for, without any of us both knowing it, raising the bar.

If presentation is everything then Soho Cafe and Grill got it right with this all day breakfast