Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Daily Monitor! OK I give up!

The story below was in today's Daily Monitor: My concerns are just how I think story might not have been written.

Search for a magazine model:

In partnership with African Woman, sherry V&A, at a cocktail last Friday held at Serena Hotel in Katongole Hall, unveiled plans to have a countrywide search for a cover girl, V&A Covergal, that will be glammed up to appear on the cover of the magazine of May.{First of all Serena has no Katongole Hall, its Katonga Hall! And how about a girl who "will be glammed up to appear on the cover of the magazine of May"? Who taught this motherf****r English?} Roberty Kalumba, you are an idiot!

They need an ordinary girl to grace the cover the May edition of African Woman. “She doesn’t have to be a model, celebrity, a known personality or socialite,” was the criteria as laid down by the head honcho of the magazine Sylvia Owori.

According to the UBL Brand Manger, Spirits Phoebe Nakabazzi, the search for the cover girl will be country-wide and the successful lady will embody the qualities of V&A “that are independence, confidence and elegance,” she said. What one needs to do should they want to participate is to purchase V&A at the participating stores; Uchumi and Capital Shoppers and fill out a necktie coupon to enter the draw which will take place each week until 200 girls are selected to proceed to the next stage where the contest will begin. {Ok does the Brand have a manger in which is it is kept until it grows up? or did they mean to say Brand Manager? }

The 200 will later be reduced to 30 girls who will face a public vote through the different forms of media- radio, TV and print, where the public will do the sieving. There will be a final event that will end the whole process. “It will be a big production that will give us who the final girl will be,” said Owori.

Apart from being the Cover Girl, the winner will stand to win goodies from Sylvia Owori’s wardrobe and a Shs2m shopping voucher from one of the best boutiques in the country. {Like her personal wardrobe? Really? and the best boutique in the country? isn't that Sylvia's too? So they'll walk away with her personal clothing as well as items from her shop?!}

Consumers of V&A will also stand a chance to win various instant prizes at participating stores through the lucky-dip promotions that will include a dinner for two at a top hotel, spa treatments, salon and tickets to the cinema. The search has began.{The lucky dip promotions will include a dinner for two? or the lucky dip prizes will include dinner for two, salon treatments, etc?}


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Find a GIRL…

Who calls you HANDSOME instead of hot.

Who calls you back when you hang up on HER.

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.


Wait for the GIRL who… kisses your forehead.

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of HER friends.

Who is constantly reminding you of how much SHE cares about you and how lucky SHE is to have you.

Who turns to HER friends and says, ' That's HIM!!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I'm not callous or sarcastic, but life is..

I just saw this and i got to thinking, we think we've got it bad but you've gotta wonder is someone else having it worse.

You find a dead body tied underneath a bus in Uganda and the country is in mourning about how bad times have gotten and how people responsible should be arrested.

Then somewhere else in the world a body is found in the landing gear of a plane.

Both stories were published on the same date. This further drives my theory. no idea occurs to one single individual. evrytime you have an idea, it is simultaneously given to someone else. The difference is in how you execute it and how fast you can produce results to claim the fame for the idea.

I'm not callous, but I believe the world is linked, You fuck up it'll get you.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Can you spot the sweat mark?


I went through school as a tortured child because of sweaty teachers...

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

DAILY MONITOR IS A DISGRACE, AGAIN!! OK I Want Someone From the Monitor Fired!!

... Because You CANNOT be the vanguards of free thinking, independence, and claim and run adverts about "In a world full of lies and spin..." Look for the "Truth Everyday"

This is the second time this is happening:



The review of Invictus; the clown who wrote the story had the audacity to give it a nice big picture, probably a google picture but not enough time to find out that in the movie, the SpringBoks' arch rivals were actually the ALL BLACKS of NEW ZEALAND, not to be confused with the Wallabies of Australia.

Do the Fuckin' research, or keep the amateurs off the job!

Look, the least I expect is the truth, not a lot of fancy stuff, just simply the truth. It is Uganda's biggest problem, marveling over the grandiloquence and being cheated in that single act of "village-ness". Big election slogans like "Quarter pin" and "Senyondo" and the still have the The Daily Monitor give a supplement on 24 years in power!

I'm indidgnant because these are the things that force me to have discussions where people say "..But the Daily Monitor said..!" and in a room full of people who think any alternative to the New Vision must be right, I'm gouged with evil eyes because I'm saying that Jonah Lomu single-handedly lifted te sport of Rugby onto the world stage; its own child, its very first Megastar.

I'm forced to, without compunction, call them idiots and damn the newspaper in the same breath. Like that time NTV was congratulating Obama and they said that world, development ethicist "Jeffrey Sax" had sent his best wishes. This station is revered all over the nation and no one took the time to find out that Jeffrey's other name is "Sachs"?

Th truth, we have a responsibility too the 50,000 pairs of eyes that read these pages. Some are government officials which is why the figure is not exactly twice the circulation figures of 32,000: the government official don't read the papers, they see pictures.

Some others are members of parliament, that decrepit conservative institution that wants to eat its own every time it has a chance. Cannibals they are, I tell you!

Others are parents, teachers, uncles, aunties, idiots, sugar daddies, all who read this information and pose by dropping it like little nuggets of information for young impressionables to pick up. They use it to impress, to show off, to boast, to goad, to bully, to genuinely teach, and, to guide.

But the greatest injustice is to the young minds that are discovering the world around them, hearing , smelling, seeing, reading, learning and taking in all this to be able to make sense of their lives. They are are the worst affected; victims of a negligent, fat, inept editor who failed to Google the damn country! and they have no idea what to look for on the map.

So they grow knowing a lie to be the truth until one day in the Zain Africa Challenge when they stand between themselves, their country's pride, USD $250,000, and the greatest moment of their lives and the question is asked: .......