Monday, January 25, 2010

There are things I'm against....

I am not prejudiced or anything against, you know, healthy eating. but isn't there such a thing as unhealthy consumption?

For example when i was in school; tales abounded of girls from St. Joseph's Nsambya having a certain tree in their school which grew "penises." when they were ripe, they fell off the tree and and were promptly harvested by the denizens.

Of course this would have gone on unchecked until one girl's "cooch" had a reaction to the damn things triggering a - well lets say, euphemistically, swelling. But you got to understand where this is coming from. I mean if the boys have holes in there mattresses, then let the girls harvest their pleasure.

Sadly a few years later the tree was cut down, and fortunately before my little kid sis joined the confounded place.

Now I once read somewhere that Carotene, the key benefit in carrots is a pigment and if you ate a small truck of carrots, your skin would turn orange.

No harm in that if you ask me, what i worry about is... isn't there a law against reverse ingesting some of these things? For example consider Exhibit A:

Now you see my point. Ironically also, in my vast Spartan experience I've also found that its always the little, small, petite, midget, anorexic girls who want the bigger carrot!

Well, if you want to know, the big girls are dealing with enough as it is, bigger carrots would just aggravate the whole situation.

No.2 I generally don't consider myself a prude or a profligate but some things should surely remain where they were meant to remain: INSIDE!

This just shows bad taste.

No.3 While we are on the subject:

Isn't there some sort of rule against FAT women wearing thongs? I was recently talking to an ex and she, rather undisguisedly (like most exes are wont to do), mentioned that she never wore thongs or sexy lingerie when we were dating because I never inspired her to. In my mind I asked her so many questions: What?! How?!
So here was my response:

"Woman, if you don't feel sexy enough to wear the damn thongs, fine, but to blame it on my inability to inspire you is just emotionally crippled. Because in the end great underwear reflects how you feel about yourself on the inside. If you feel constipated, closed off and suffocated then by all means go right ahead and let it reflect in your "grannies". Just don't blame it on a brother who wants some kinky shit! And by the way EVERY guy under the sun wants a woman in thongs. its the reason the leading designers of these things are gay men, not hetero women. Goes to show how much we are into this*ish."

I thought about inserting that snide remark about how much I'd like some bondage but I figured exes don't take that in good light.

PS: I'm not against bondage.Some at least.

Have a blessed day..

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Sometimes I Wonder...

1. Whether deep down all heroes are jerks looking for a chance to shock us

2. Whether, when we ask for some of these proggressive and liberal pleasures we actually are asking too much, eventually causing the genetic mutation of parts belonging to other members of ours species.

3. whether I ever thought those damn things ever came off! Now I really want to be Batman! I don't even want some from that wicked woman.

4. DJ Benny D cant possible be hiding from the smell that the weasel is emitting, can he?

5. If I would scratch when it itches in public view.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A Home Theatre To Remember

In the quiet rustic air of Lira town, the birds of the morning chirp gaily to usher in the fresh morning air of the plains.

Filda wakes up, takes a quick shower and heads out in the early morning light to open shop as a retailer in the now buzzing upcountry town. There she sells soda, beer, wine, bread, body oils, little knick knacks that people use often but cannot get to easily, like sugar, soap, and other small utilities. She is also the newspaper agent in the town for a couple of newspapers.

She does this Monday to Saturday everyday without fail. Saving her little earnings and investing the into her shop to turn it into a better stocked shop. On Sunday, Filda goes to church service, has lunch at home and after a short nap in the afternoon she will meet up with some friends to sit and recapture the highlights of the week, to talk about which politician is messing around, who is the new young girl working with the local branch of the bank, the trucks that came in the previous night, and other things. She and her friends will normally catch up at the local watering hole known as “24/7” for being notoriously open all day every day.

Filda’s is a moving and emotive tale; she comes from a little known town called “Anai” on the Apac – Lira border and as soon as two years ago was a farmer in Anai growing and selling grain to earn a living. But she had a dream, to see her little boy; Solomon Ogwang and little Miriam Apiri get an education as well. She gathered 3 bags of Sesame (Sim sim) grain and sold it for UGX600, 000 Shillings and took the proceeds and came to town to start a business.

On one of those Sundays while she was enjoying herself with her friends she ordered for a few drinks and as luck would have it, a woman with a “tictac” sound system ended up with a Sony home theatre system. The excitement on her face when she came to collect it form UBL offices was almost pulpable. Her whole life she had never won anything, never been rewarded apart from her hard work and now here she was with something that would change her life, and Solomon’s, and Miriam’s.

The first born of four has to make enough to send her last sister in Senior four to school; doing what thousands of other people in our country do for their siblings. While she herself did not advance very far in school, she has dreams for her children. Solomon is now in P.1 and Miriam in Baby Class. She wants one of them to be doctor and has taken steps to ensure it happens. It is her waking obsession and driving ambition. It moved her from Ania, made her set up shop in town not her own, has her working 18 hour days six days a week. And now with a little help, she will be able to enjoy her life a little more while spending a little less.

Just Ideas

I like the way this sport makes chaps feel. The sweat, the vigor, the strength, the color, the energy, the resilience. Its just awesome!But mostly I like the way this ad was done, spot on for a rugby sponsor, and the picture brings it all to life!

The true face of winners, they won every single cup last year. we wait for the league which begins next weekend.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

One more way to get her into your bed...

send her a face book message:

Do you wanna have drinks sometime this week? Just for like 4 minutes after work then goo up to garden city and play video games, then sing some Karaoke before catching the last movie at Cineplex, after which we'll head to a more conventional bar and get more Senator Extra Lager lagerdrinks for another three and half minutes while we wait for the right time to head to Al's Bar where we'll meet transvestites and she-males and probably dance to some nice jams. After the sun comes up we can have coffee at Javas right before we close off the hang-out session and head home.

PS: We could head to mine or yours, at that point it won't really matter.

PPS: This is Option 1. I have Option 2 written in book which is in a box under my bed. you can come check...

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Our Nation's Newspapers are a Disgress!

... and this appeared in the section where you apply for jobs by writing your CV right.

Someone fire the Monitor chap in charge of this article. Its like that NTV news clipat Obama's Nomination where they spelt "Jeffrey Sachs" as "Jeffrey Sax"!


Is the Nation Media Academy a sham?