Friday, October 24, 2008

Face Book

I recently found my self in a rut with face book and their threaded messages. And after weeks of torment that i endured silently alone, one guy wrote a plea about how much he hated being on the thread. and as i sat down, and thought. It came to me how many ways one can stop the terror of face book threads. Afterall who wants 45 messages in 8 working hours!!!? This is what I wrote- Verbatim:

"Ivan you are a man after my own heart. I have suffered silently under the torment of this thread for weeks until finally I deciphered a clever guise to get me out of it.

You know when they send you an email from face book, at the bottom it says if you don't want to receive emails from face book click this link, you click it next time you get one of those. and when you go back to your face book settings, you go to the part where it says "face book notifies me" and you change that setting to "no". the only time you know when you have mail is when you open your face book. sweet!

Option 2: Block these people, but you must first block all messages from these people first. Individually. you click their name, pull up their profile and then below their name click "ignore all messages from this person." They will never see you on face book again and you will never see them again. EVER!

Option 3: Report all these users to face book and claim they are violating your rights. It works, trust me.

Option 4: If that doesn't work, be really abusive and start putting links of porn and really abusive messages in the thread, send it with viruses, tell really crude jokes, be insensitive about lesbians and women, don't care what others think, say savedees are hypocrites, and start telling stories about how virgins are secretly horny nymphos. And I assure you for everyone's, safety the thread will either stop or you will just get kicked out.

Option 5; If all the above continues to fail to work, i advise you do this but only if you are at the point where your friendship with these people is at an end. Start giving and telling personal information like people's addresses, boyfriends, sugar daddies, girlfriends, concubines, one night stands, parents, and anything that will wreck their lives to the high heavens. Lie if you have to. Just pull up all the shit on all these people. so much that they will have no choice than to either let you go, or let the thread go.

Option 6: my very last piece of advice is to discard your old facebook account get a new one and make sure the settings are such that no one ever writes to you, can see you or even find you unless they are your friends. AND. NEVER invite anyone to be your face book friend unless you can stake a finger on the fact that they are not psychotic.

Lock and load."