Friday, July 23, 2010

The Rules of Being a Player ... Part 2


No matter where you go, people of the world behave the same. This is sometimes accredited to their personality types. Nearly every other girl you talk to will tell you are some type of personality type or other. Sometimes they will mix you up and therefore someone will have the balls to say you are melo-sanguine. I maintain that people are the same in the way they deal with normal human relations. Its just the way we interpret their reactions that affects the way we see them.
From the last article dealing with how to spot if your chic is an infidel from a mile away, this week I put forward my thoughts on how to be truly, phenomenally untamed and. Uncaught.

6. Know your food points: Any player worth their salt knows their food points. One, because they have been out on so many dates that by sheer endurance they have moved the turf. I have a friend whose rule is this “If I take a girl out to eat ice-cream, she is going down!” it doesn’t matter how he does it, she has to eat his cream before she eats his ice cone! General prudence will recommend that you know at least Chinese, Thai, Italian, French, and African continental places. In Kampala, that’s basically all of them! Knowing how much these places charge off-head will always avert the dilemma of being caught out without enough cash but more importantly the psychological scarring that comes from those kinds of situations.

7. Know your coffee houses: Unlike my friend above, you don’t want to ever be pinned as a routine fellow. Common practice dictates that a lady never expose herself to a guy for extended periods of time if she doesn’t know him well; even if her friends vouch for him. As a result of this, most first dates will be coffee dates. So knowing your coffee houses and price range estimates will definitely help you direct those awkward situations where she asks you to choose where to go. The main benefit is, for example, a single Mocha at Javas Café is a cool 6,000/= while the same badly made, poorly measured, and not as great cup of Mocha at Café Pap is 8,500/=!! You need to know these subtleties in case she [EVER]wants to eat cake!! If she decides to eat, know the full range of available, easy-to-reach, ambient spaces. Never screw up the coffee date. It helps if you know a waiter’s name.

8. Be absolutely nonchalant about your phone: Being finicky about your cell phone triggers a red flag for women. Passwords, codes, Pins, or other access-restrictive measures to your phone always niggle and eventually set off psychotic behavior like a bitch checking your phone while you’re away. Be generous with your phone, be honest about when it does or does not have airtime. But most importantly, name every person in your phone by their full names. Why? Because if Melanie Ssali checks your phone and she finds Nakigembbe Emilie, she almost automatically assumes an unpretty, lanky, ugly woman, and therefore not too much competition. It also tends to glide over smoothly rather than Sasha or Shaniqua alone! The one thing you absolutely cannot afford to also do is be touchy, excited or even curious about her phone. It will precipitate interest in your phone.


.... (TBC)