Monday, August 10, 2009

Issues

How many types of issues do you think there are?

I was thinking recently and I pounced upon the idea that there might actually be an infinite number of issues. I mean 'issues' to refer to the deeply or mildly disturbing psychoses that people will almost inevitably possess. Presenting my list of 15 most disturbing issues:

1. Daddy Issues
2. Mummy Issues
3. Abandonment Issues
4. Sexual abuse issues
5. Intelligence issues
6. I-can't-keep-my-mouth-shut Issues
7. My-daddy-was-too-awesome-when-i-was-growing-up-so-now-I-cant-relate-to-any-man Issues
8. Am-broke-so-I-need-to-borrow-some-cash Issues
9. You-gotta-get-me-that-chic's-number Issues
10.Dude!!-you-gatta-hook-a-brother-up Issues
11.Control Issues[read as:Am-always-on-top issues]
12.Am-jealously-protective-of-my-friends Issues
13.Passive aggressive Issues [read as: you-came-late-to-work-so-amma-send you-an-email-with-the-boss-copied-in]
14.Who-could-possibly-be-calling-you-at-this-time Issues
And finally, my favorite
15.Am-sensitive-about-my-issues Issues

If you have any other "issue" suggestions please feel free to add them here. We'll see if we can find solutions and i will hang myself in order to escape some. However solutions are also welcome!

Have a nice week

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*PS Tumwi reminded me: I-write-so-I-can-get-comments- Issues