Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The New Job:

I am at a new job. Yes a new job, new colleagues, new beauties, new competition. The thing you enjoy about an old job is the competition is kinda taken care of. You have accepted the guy who has more game and you have completely trampled on the guys whose game isn’t even close to you.

I walk in every morning and think about how work will be so much fun and when I leave in the evening I want to drink a human’s spinal fluid coz it’s the only thing that will assuage my ravaged spirit. I feel violated. I feel like everything I believe in is sapped out everyday. So now to find a bitch whose spinal fluid to suck out. For those of you who are spineless, don’t worry, I won’t even come close.

But while on the subject of a new job I have wanted to post this SMS a friend of mine sent me a couple of weeks ago when she joined a foreign mission of one of the North African countries stationed here in Uganda. It read:

“Hi Buddy, meant to call you but no % (MTN ZONE) so it was not worthwhile. The new place is depressing, have to carry my own food, water TP!, no internet allowed, no flash disks, loo for Ugandans’ DIRRTY. No prospects for future development, no challenging work, just faxing, filing, photocopying and answering phone. Need another job.”

I looked at that text for so long that I begun to examine why the hell I had a job and was not just at home eating food and waiting for the big break where my creativity would earn me a million bucks. Then I think about how the Mrs. would throw me out faster than a used ******* (those of you who know my gutter mind can complete that but just in case you don’t, it completes as “douche bag”)

Anyways to all of you who are looking to change jobs, just think twice before your new boss wears the condom to screw you over.