In my country Uganda, a Swedish based singer and musician named Maddox sang a smash hit about how he had tired of the urban and city girls. He was going back to the country, in the village, to marry a bride who was homegrown. The instrumental on that song was jazzy and had snazzy snare, and we loved it!! He claimed he wanted a country bride because:
- She will farm the land and grow fresh food for him.
- She will not cause him pain.
- She will love him for him.
- She will not want his money.
- She will defer to him.
This weekend, that's song struck me and stayed in my head. And I, with my addictive personality hummed the living juice out of the damn tune! But at some point I thought about this song and I said to myself "what the fridge am I singing? I don't want a village bride!!!" I spent a significant amount o critical development years in the village and I KNOW better than most people what that means. I went back and forth on this with myself until I eventually pulled out my yellow legal pad.
And here is why I will stay with a city girl:
- She appreciates flowers; and won't try and to grow them so you can save the cash.
- She might not be a good cook, but if she asks you for her steak rare and you serve it done or even medium rare, SHE will talk to you! or the Chef!!
- She is very precise and succinct about what she wants. She may not say it expressly or otherwise, but she always knows what's best for her and most times won't settle for less for too long.
- Have you ever walked into a venue or an event with a stunning woman on your arm, and even if the other half of the room does not look, you feel like there is only one man with the Cahoonas?
- Or when she meets you and has that perfume that makes you wanna dance like Dankey at the end of Shrek I? Titillates and secretly seduces you?
- She will let you hold her hand or her waist in public. Occasionally, in a crowded restaurant, she'll let you kiss her. Not a peck; a real long 15 sec. Frenchie!! You have no idea!
- She will invest in herself to look good for you. And damn right you better do the same! The facial scrub, the great scents, the lingerie, brushing before bedtime [!!don't EVEN EVER, EVER!! take this for granted!!!!!] *now at the top of my voice
- She can but may not always communicate her needs. After a nice day together, or a great dinner, and you all get home in a good mood she has a way of sitting astride you and unbuttoning your shirt or just cuddling up to you in your sleep so that somehow, you're always spooning her!
- When you say "Babe, tell me what you want me to do …", she gets back to you with near impeccable clarity and feedback.
- She knows about a man's pride and the emotionally mature ones will let the man be the manhe must be in order to be the man she wants.
- She is selfish. She is shrewd. She is smart. Each of these qualities is base and human. Love her or show her you love her enough and she will change, or mask them. For you.
- She can cause you a lot of pain, but most times she is just happy to see you happy and is delighted at your successes. Revels in your joy and lets you love her the way you know how. [Of course with a little guidance!]
And Now for the Exceptions to the Rule:
- She …
[To be Continued …]