Thursday, December 6, 2007

SONS...


I have recently learnt that when fathers bear sons they know them at birth. That while fathers give their sons up to 90% of what they appear like; hair, eyes, bone structure and other physical aspects, mothers give about 85% of the "brains" or whatever you call it; be it cognitive ingenuity or what other coinage you might have for it. The key reason why you can never tell a man a son is not his if he can see his family nose on the kid, or why the African adage holds that not-too-bright-spawn bring shame to their mother.

I have also learnt that when Zeus and his brothers came of age they deposed their fathers, the race of TITANS and took power over the universe as we know it. Zeus, a particularly bad boy, cut off his father's genitals and cast them into the sea for being a philanderer( but I believe in those days it was "Lover". Cronus was shocked. His son had emasculated him because he was a philanderer but to think that he himself had deposed his father Uranus and forced him to disgorge all his children he had eaten. Karma 101. And look at how Zeus(left) turned out; the greatest womanizer on those windy slopes of Mt.Olympus!


Yes, we turn out like our fathers only in greater stature, stead and the prevarication multiplier fully turned on. We lie more them, are braver than they were, we philander more than they ever did and yet bear the ever-increasing beauty of our mothers. This is true, for it is genetically impossible for daughters to be uglier than their mothers*( except when Brad marries Angie and the recessive factor kicks in! but we all expect that!) yes, daughters are always cuter than their mothers! and how we love to love (and inadvertently hate to hate) those things our fathers loved! If you think I am lying ask the Bush family.
* In cases where a daughter is not as beautiful as her mother the reason is either
  • Her Father had totally useless genes
  • Her Mother self reproduced (not common)
  • Her Father pretended to spill the "seed' but actually faked it.
  • There is a twin somewhere in the family(don't ask me where)
But its when the sun has set on your exploits and you have the sexperience of one old Thomas Rush that you truly realize that you are only as good as the genes your father passed onto you, which includes the ability to appreciate humor...or judge it. No offense to some of you, its new its hot. Deal.

These are my thoughts, feel free to disagree, agree or comment.